Sanity's Only Hope
by KxS
Summary: Stephenie Meyer has taken over America, and is heading for a bigger goal...the world! It's up to five kids to save the world from the ever spreading Twilight craze...the Anti-Twilighters!
1. Prologe & Chapter 1: The Last Sane Minds

Nine years ago, a book was published and sold all around America. The book was called "Twilight". It was about a selfish teenage girl that could only be happy around a sparkly vampire. They fell in an unhealthy love, and didn't change their personalities (but in Edward's case, there was no personality to change). It even looked like a fanfiction written by an uneducated 12 year-old.

This horrible excuse for literature became a best-seller because of the crazed, tennaged fangirls that have read it and couldn't get enough of Edward Cullen and Jacob Black...two horrible characters that hated eachother because of the whole "vamps v.s. wolves" thing. What's worse, this book grew into a saga of disgraceful books which have ruined the reputations of vamires and werewolves alike.

The author, Stephenie Meyer, was loved by all of the Twitards for making this saga...and Edward Sparkle-Butt. All the girls wanted nothing more than more than a hot guy that sparkles, a buff rapist, or an emo dude. Many sane kids knew that these teenage girls made up at least 80% of the 75% of idiots in America.

Anti-Twilight clubs and forums helped keep sane kids sane. But, in 2010...things went from bad to worse. Someone murdered Obama, and America needed a new president. Unfortunatly, most of the voters were Twilight fans, and they elected Stephenie Meyer. She became president of the United States.

It wasn't long before new rules were set in, and more Twihards were in America (even other places around the world, but not as bad). All the Twi-hate clubs and forums were wiped clean off the internet, and people could only draw Twilight fan-art. Anyone who said that they hated Twilight were set on fire, then beat to death.

It even became legal for Twitards to suck blood out of the haters...which was not a pretty sight. Cullenism became an actual religion, and the girls bowed to a golden statue of Edward Cullen. Every other religion in America (except Mormonism) was banned, giving most people no choice. Houses of Twi-haters were burned to nothing, and their families were either drained of blood or eaten.

TVs could only show the news and the Twilight movies. The only books that could be read was the so called "gretest saga eva". Harry Potter wasn't even lawful to be mentioned. Men had to spray on glitter or had to act wolf-like during a full moon. If they refused, they would be locked in jail with nothing to eat until they gave in.

Those against Twilight were not aloud to eat, just in case the Twitards didn't suck the blood out of all of them. Everyone could only wear either a "Team Edward" or a "Team Jacob" shirt, so they could tell the difference between sane and insane. This country has become the wrst place for one with a mind to live in. Luckly...there is a little group that's on our side.

**Sanity's Only Hope**  
An Anti-Twilight fanfiction.  
Written by: Knucxsonia (shouldn't give out my real name, fear of Twitards huntin' me down)

Chapter 1: The Last Sane Minds

"Phew, that was close." sighed a red-headed female as she entered the main room in the Anti-Twilight hideout. She had apparently been running from rabid fangirls. "So, did the trap work?" asked a chubby teen with a buzz-cut. "Yup! The land mines full of sleeping gas knocked 'em out good, and the net successfully caught them!" Shania said with a wink and a thumb-up.

An applause rang from the hideout. Only four teens and and a 7 year-old were in this secret lair. "So, how many of 'em do we have in the Twihard section?" a brown-haired 17 year-old male asked. "Well, 18 followed me, so..." "That would make 238 fangirls!" the youngest one interupted. "That's very good, Melody! I've taught you well with math, have I?" Melody's big brother, Allen, patted her on the head.

She gave him a big smile. She, and the Antis, were glad that she was a smart cookie.

It was May, 24th, 2014 in Washington (where by new law, every town was renamed "Forks"). 55% of the Twihards lived in this once beautiful state...the rest were scattered all over the country, mainly in cities. In the city that was once called Seattle is where the Anti-Twilights have their underground lair.

It wasn't high-tech, and it was pretty simple, but it worked. It was a large place, all of it under the city. There were entrances all over Seattle, but they were hard for Twilighters to find. There was the main room, which consists of a large table (which is actually a really big rock) and some chairs. There was also a storage room for food, which had a month's worth of food, but it could hold more.

10 feet away from the main room was a very deep and very wide room, which was called the Twihard section...this is where the captured Twitards are put. It's clearly big enough to hold every single rabid fangirl in Washington. There was even a working bathroom...

The dirt around these rooms were made of a hard clay, which is why the kids wondered who made it. They didn't make it...it could have been some Antis from the past, but the question of who made this place wasn't a big deal. All the Antis knew was that Meyer and the Twitards have taken over America, are spreading, and that they need to stop the madness.

But now, they were celebrating their success in catching another load of fangirls by drinking some root beer. After a gulp of soda, Kevin, the chubby kid, wiped his mouth with his arm. "Do we have enough rabids to test out theory?" he asked. "Not yet." Allen answered, "We need all the Twihards in Washington before we can do so."

Keith, a boy who unfortunatly looked like Robert Pattinson (but with pleanty of differences), took a spit-take. "The whole state of Washington?! Are you mad?! That could take years!" he yelled. "I know, but no one said saving the world would take a short time." Allen said after taking a sip of his root beer. Keith slammed his soda can on the table (oh, sorry, I meant 'big rock') in anger.

"But Meyer could have the other side of the world taken over in one month! We don't have the time!" he yelled. "We have no way of speeding up the process, so this will have to do." Allen said strictly, yet calmly. Keith Gorlenah took a deep breath...that meant he was thinking. "You know, I have a plan that would get all of the Twihards in Washington, or even America, into this area."

Everyone looked at him. "Really? What'cha got?" asked Kevin. "Well, I was thinking of broadcasting myself on TV and telling the fangirls where I am, then they would come!" he answered with a cocky smirk. "And what makes you think they would come without getting us killed?" Allen questioned. "Don't you see?" said Shania, "He looks like Edward Cullen from the movie!"

"Yes, but we need to make it more convincing...and how the heck are we gonna get him on TV without getting caught?" the leader asked. "That we'll need to think about. But for now...all we need to get are the neccesities." Keith said as he huddled everybody together. In that little group, they discussed a plan to get what they need for this brilliant plan.

Why they huddled together when no one else is listening anyways is a mystery.

Meanwhile, in the Twihard section...well, nothing much was going on. All the 238 rabid fangirls were screaming for Edward to save them, praying to authors and fictional characters, and wondering where their "books" were. They weren't even thinking of a plan to get out...they thought the Cullens would save them. Stupid girls. Edward isn't real.


	2. Chapter 2: Operation Glitter

**Chapter 2: Operation Glitter**

Even though most of Seattle was cleared of fangirls, the Antis were still careful around the streets. They snuck around in allies, ducked under windows, and hid from security cameras. The reason they were above ground...they were searching for items that were needed for Keith's brilliant plan.

The five split up to decrease chanses of being spotted. Allen was with Melody, Kevin was with Keith, and Shania decided to fend for herself. They didn't have and two-way radios, but it was best that way. Twihards have been said to have ears like dogs.

But right now, the mostly-destroyed city was empty and quiet. The five could only hear the wind breezing in, carrying the smell of something that has been burnt down a week or so ago. It gave the teens a feeling of awareness. Keeping on low profile was the way to roll right now.

Allen and Melody had found a make-up store. Just what they needed. Problem was, there were many fangirls and fanboys inside the store. They were looking at Make-up that was supposed to make the skin look pale. The siblings looked at eachother. They both knew it was ftal to just simply walk inside. They needed a plan.

Meanwhile, Keith and Kevin were looking for a clothing store that would have something Edward Cullen would wear. It shouldn't have been this hard, but laying low while "clothes shopping" was never said to be easy. One or two Twihards passed the boys, but they were unnoticed. The girls must have been headed to a Cullenist meeting or something. They then hid beside a dumpster in an ally.

"Hey, Keith?" the chubby kid asked. "Yeah?" replied the Pattinson look-a-like. "Do these fangirls even know that 238 of them are missing?" Keith then sighed, "I don't know. If they do, I bet they suspect that some sparklepires took them away." Kevin Guy chuckled, "These girls don't use a lot of logic, do they?" he asked. The two boys looked at eachother and laughed.

Then, a shadow appeared over them. The boys, who were on their knees already, looked up and saw what could be the scariest sight in the universe. A 6'5" fanboy with DBZ-like muscles and longish hair. He was supposidly on "Team Jacob", for he was not wearing glitter. The worst part...that night was supposed to bring a full moon.

"You guys talkin' trash about Twilight?" the Twihard asked in a voice that would remind you of a professonal wrestler. "Well, we're behind a dumpster, what what other trash would we be talking about?" Keith punned. The fantard had an angry look on his face. "I'm gonna make you guys wish you hadn't made fun of my favorite book!"

"Your favorite book? Oh wow, Kevin! We better run! We're gonna get beat up by a big girly man!" Keith said as another round of laughter filled the ally. Big man was not amused. "You guys are gonna pay!" he yelled. "Oh, what are you gonna do, make us wear lipstick?" Kevin joked. "I'm gonna beat you up until your whole body bleeds, then I'm gonna make you sacrafices to the werewolf pack!"

"Oh really?" Keith stood up, and kicked the guy where it hurts. The big man fell on his knees, then Kevin whacked him on the back of his head with a metal pipe that he found in the garbage. The man fell unconscious. Not much of a battle scene, but it was short because the boys didn't want to attract too much attention.

They both picked him up and tried to take him the the Twihard section before he woke up. It was going to be difficult, but with the risks of leaving this Twitard in the ally would be deadly...or worse.

Meanwhile, Shania was also sneaking around. She was searching for the mall, home of Hot Topic. There was where she was to get some body-shimmer. She had to be just as careful as the others, though, for Hot Topic always has hoards of fantards buying Twicrap. She finally found the mall, and cautiously snuck mall seemed empty. Most stores were out of business because the Twihards only wanted to buy Twilight related stuff.

Even the Gamestop was closed. Pity and sorrow filled inside Shania's body. She used to be an avid gamer before the Twitards took over. She was only 11 when she could beat her older brother at Sonic Riders: Zero Gravity. She missed her family...after Meyer took office, her brother died trying to protect his sister. The rest of the family had their blood sucked and their house burned down.

Shania McCooper looked away from the store. She hated looking at it now. It brought back too many memories. She hated looking back at what happened in that very Gamestop years ago. She held back her tears, and just walked away. She had to keep her mind on what was going on now. She had to help finish Operation Glitter.

As she walked further, she passed the Build-A-Bear Workshop, which was also closed. She then heard something. It sounded like a spray-paint can being used. She turned around and noticed it was coming from the store she just passed. She walked back toward it and tried to see into the dark workshop. Every shelf and every piece of equipment was moved out of the store, which made it look more gloomy than it should have.

There were three visible figures inside. They were wearing black leather jackets, which made them harder to see, and one of them was smoking. She knew they couldn't be Twihards because of the graffiti they sprayed on the walls. "Long live Stephen the King" was sprayed artisticly on the bare walls. Shania smiled. More Antis? Possibly. She had to speak to them.

"Ummm..." was all she could word out. The three looked at her with serious glares. She suddenly felt a hint of fear. The two boys and one girl looked pretty tough. The red-headed Anti gulped a little and tried to talk to them again.

"Err...that's...very creative graffiti there..." she managed to say. The guy with the spray can turned toward her. "State yourself!" he ordered in his British accent. Shania figured she could trust him. "I'm Shania McCooper of the Anti-Twilighters. Who are you guys?" The three looked at eachother and nodded. "We are the sane fans." the British leader introduced.

He pointed to the girl next to him, "That's Hammer, " then pointed at the smoker sitting on the floor, "That's Loco...short for Locomotive, and I'm Brit. We used to be in the fandom, but when Meyer took office, we figured it went way too far." Brit shook his head slowly. "We're not Cullenists, nor Mormons. Yet, we are invinsible to the fanboys and girls..." the three unzipped they're jackets to show Team Jacob shirts.

"for we are Twilight fans as well." Brit finished. "But we think the book could have been better." Loco added. "Are there more of you?" Shania asked. "That is classified. Anyways, what brings an Anti to a mall like this?" Hammer asked. "I'm on a secret mission." Shania answered. "Ah, so we both have something to hide. Alright then, we won't bother you. But before you leave..." Brit walked over to the female and gave her a device.

"If there are too many fangirls for you to handle alone, just press the apple-shaped button. Help will come." Shania looked into his dark-blue eyes. Yes. Those eyes were trustworthy. She nodded, took the device, and headed on her way. Hammer walked toward him and punched him on the arm. "Ouch, what was that for?" he asked. "For giving her that thing! She could be a lying rabid for all we know!" she yelled. "She couldn't be."

"She couldn't be?! How do YOU know?" The accented 18 year-old looked at his black-haired friend and said, "Because I know her.". Hammer raised an eyebrow as her British buddy walked back toward the painted wall and finished his work. Loco shook his head and puffed out some smoke. He didn't know what was going on either.


	3. Chapter 3: Burning Garbage

**Chapter 3: Burning Garbage**

Allen and Melody were thinking of a way to get into the make-up store while hiding beside it. They could wait, but there would be no more pale make-up by then. They had to think of something, and quick. Allen looked around to see what he could use. A gun? No, too violent. An old fly-swatter? Nah, that probably wouldn't do any good. A teddy bear? No, that would be like throwing a pillow at an angry alligator.

There just HAD to be something in there...then something caught his eye. A little box of matches on the ground. It sounded useful, but the last thing he wanted to do was burn down the store. That would be wrong. Melody saw him with the matches and picked up something she just found. "Hey, Allen! Look at what I found!" she whispered as she held it up to him. It was a copy of New Moon. Her older brother smiled. "Mels, you gave me an idea!" he said s he took the book. He then whispered his plan to his little sister.

She didn't seem to like it, but it was the only thing they could do, so she had to roll with it. Her brother took a match out of it's case, then ran toward the ally in front of the store. It, luckily, had a dumpster. He then lit the match and set the dumpster on fire, and held the dreaded book over it. "HEY, FANTARDS!" he yelled, "LOOK AT THIS!". All the Twitards looked at him and screamed bloody murder. They then ran toward him to get their precious book.

When allteh fangirls ran out, Melody ran into the store, grabbed a bottle of pale make-up. Of course she ws worried about her brother, but she would have less chances of living if she went in there to help him fight them off. So, she ran off with the bottle. Yes she stole it, but these guys weren't givin' money to Meyer...if that's where it went to.

As she ran back to the lair, Allen tried to fight off the Twihards. He didn't seem to be winning...they were clawing, slapping, punching, and even attempting to bite him. He could only try to push them away, but there were too many of them. This could be the end...

Then suddenly, there were little explosions all over the ally. The girls paniced and tried to run off, but they were then caught in nets. They all squirmed around, but they were unsuccessful. Allen, who was now bruised, scratched, bitten everywhere, and on his knees, looked up. There were figures on the building above him...five, to the exact. They then dramaticly jumped off the building, landed on their feet, then took the captured fangirls to a certain place.

He didn't know who these guys were. Antis? Secret Agents? Doctor Who characters? Whoever they were, they saved his life, nd he wntd to find them. He ran out of the ally, only to find that these strange characters were gone. His cuts burned and his bruses were sore...it was probably best if he went back to the hideout. He slowly looked for the closest entrance, which was in an old abandoned bank.

Back at the mall, Shania was still on the trail to Hot Topic. She knew she was getting closer because she now had to hide from fangirls wearing Twicrap. It was hard to hide in a mall, but she somehow managed. It didn't take long before she she finally found the store she was looking for. A pity it was, there used to be shirts for gamers and movie geeks, gloves for emos, and heavy metal music CDs...now all it had wqs Twicrap.

Shania shook her head in dissapointment, for that place was almost out of products. It looked like they were about to close, so she had to act fast. But how was she supposed to get in without getting killed? She scrolled the scenery to see what she could do. All she saw were Twitards talking to eachother about creepy Edward, pedowolf Jacob, or selfish Bella. Then she saw a certain pair of Cullenist girls. One was holding a shirt that looked exactly like the one she and her friend were wearing.

"Like, OME, I can NOT believe I just bought this one! I'm already wearing one, like, just like it!" one of them complained. This is when Shania hatched a plan. "I can't believe it either!!! We can't just throw it away, Eddykins' face doesn't belong in the stinky trash!" said the other one. Shania then walked up to them. "OME, like...can I have it?! I wore all my Twilight clothes and forgot to wash them, so I had to wear this disgrace!!" she acted. The two looked at her breifly. "OK!" they both said in unison as they gave it to her.

That was easier than expected, she thought as she put it on. Her face almost turned green when she did, but for Keith's plan to work, she had to get a little dirty. She went inside the Hot Topic, hoping that there would be some body shimmer left. She must have been lucky, there were two bottles left. She got one, payed for it with the last of the money she had, and left.

She now didn't have to hide, since she looked like one of them...but she was really starting to get sick.

She decided to hurry out before she barfed in the mall. She also wanted to wash her mouth out with soap for saying "OME", let alone asking for the shirt from Hell. Once she got out, she ran for the nearest building and hid inside it. In there, she took off that dreaded shirt to releave herself of nausea, then ran back out with the glitter toward the hideout.

Meanwhile, Kevin and Keith had dumped their Twitard in the Twihard section. "Well Kevin, we need to get back to searching for an outfit." sighed the Pattinson look-a-like. His husky friend nodded as they were about to walk off. That was when Melody ran in.. "Kevin! Keith!" she screamed. "Melody! Where's Allen?" Kevin asked. "He's still at the store! The angry girls attacked him! I hope he's OK..." she huffed, tired from running.

"Forget the outfit! We need to help Allen!" Keith yelled as he sprinted ahead. "Get inside the lair, Mels, it's safer in there." said Kevin. THe little girl nodded, and went behind a tree where the nearest entrance was. THe two boys ran off to save her brother.


	4. Chapter 4: Someone Falls, Someone Helps

**Chapter 4: Someone Falls, Someone Helps.**

Allen was slowly walking about, still looking for that abandoned bank. He barely had to hide because the fantards were either went to a Cullenist church, or they went home. He felt exposed and defencless. His scratches and bruises were stinging like hell as he walked further. He wished that those mysterious people from earlier would have picked him up and dropped him off at that bank.

'Then again, those guys were probably keeping their identenidies secret.' he thought. 'It's understandable. I wouldn't want this Twilight infested country to know who I am, so why would they?' He kept walking, only hoping that the entrance to the lair was just around the corner. He then saw a familiar face walking about the city. "Shania?" he asked himself. Apparently, she saw him too and ran towards her friend. She would have hugged him, but he looked like he was in pain.

"Allen! What happened?! You look like you've been shreaded!" she asked in worry. "Twitard attack. Long story." he answered in a grunt. "We need to get to the lair as soon as possible." said Shania in a caring voice. "Great minds think alike." Allen laughed. It wasn't long until they ran into Kevin and Keith, who were looking for Allen. "Al! Hey! ....What happened, you look like you got attacked by a pack of cats." Keith questioned.

"Actually, it was fangirls, but you were close. Is Melody OK?"

"Yup. She's at the lair right now." Kevin answered, nodding. "What about the stuff we need for Keith's plan? Do we have those?" Allen asked. "I have the body glitter." Shania held out the container of shiney stuff. "Melody came by with the make-up, but we couldn't find any Edwardish outfits." said Keith as he looked down at his dirty and slightly torn apperal. Shania lit up, "I grabbed a 'Team Edward' t-shirt outside Hot Topic...don't ask." she blushed in embarrassment.

"Meh, what fangirl would tell the difference?" Keith shrugged. "Where'd ya put it?" Kevin asked, noticing that Shania didn't have it. "It's in an old building outside of the mall, I'll go get it!" she yelled as she ran off. "We'll take you to the hideout." Kevin offered as the two boys helped Allen toward the abandoned bank.

Shania, meanwhile, had ran to the old building she left the dreaded, but needed, shirt in. She found in right where she left it and took it. She thought it was best to high-tail it out of there before someone spotted her, but as she was running towards the bank, she was spotted by a group of angry Twitards.

It wasn't long before Shania was being chased by 7 Twilight fans who either knew she was an anti, or they wanted that shirt. She didn't want to run toward the abandoned bank, for if she did she might lead them to her hideout. So, she tried to run until the Twitards ran out of energy. Unfourtunatly, she was wearing out faster than they were. She had a different idea. She was going to fight.

She stopped in her tracks and turned around, preparing for battle. Everything went by quickly in Shania's mind. Punches were thrown, kicks were tossed and claws scratched deep in her skin. It seemed to take less than a second for her to get a black eye, a bloody nose and three bite marks on her arm. She fell on the sidewalk, and got back up just as quickly. But then, a slightly larger figure came up to the fight. The teenage Twihards stopped what they were doing, and stepped aside so Shania could be seen.

The figure was a Twimom...the worst of all fangirls.

She wore a shirt that only said "Edward Cullen" in cursive and her humongious breasts made the dreaded name stick out in people's faces. Her hair was curly and died brown. Her eyes were yellow, but those were of course contacts. She was also very skinny, and had the voice of a chipmunk with a New York accent.

"What do we have here, girls?" she asked. "We have an imposter, oh great High Priestess. We've been watching her after she asked for this shirt." answered a familiar Twitard as she held out the shirt. The Twimom nodded. "Very well then. Continune with your business." she ordered as she stepped back to watch the fight.

Then, out of nowhere, three figures wearing leather jackets swooped into the battle. To put it simply, they kicked major ass. Left and right, Twihards were being tossed. The Twimom was about to escape, but a long-haired dude with a cigerette in his mouth caught her before she got too far. "I don't usually hit women, but it's not like I'm goin' to Hell for it." said Loco as he gave the Cullenist High Priestess a good blow. The Twihards had enough and left the scene with enough cuts to feed themselves.

Shania looked at the three. The Sane Fans had saved her life and retrieved the "Team Edward" shirt, but she didn't seem so pleased. "Thank you guys, but I could have handled that on my own." she humphed as she swept the dust off her shoulders. "Well, you pressed the button, and we thought that ment you would need help." Brit shrugged. "No, I did not press the button." Shania dissagreed. She then remembered that she put the device in her back jean pocket when she got it, and that she fell during the fight.

"I must have fell on it while dealing with those fantards." she said with a look of slight anger. "Well, at least we came here just in time, you looked like you were about to lose." Brit crossed his arms. "Yeah, now those moron Mormons are off telling others that I exist." Shania argued. "At least we have the Twimom." Locomotive pointed at the unconscious High Priestess.

"Don't worry, I'll go after the obsessed and posessed." Hammer raised her hand and ran after them. Shania humphed again and crossed her arms, then looked at Brit. "Ya know, I think we've seen eachother before...like, years ago." The British Sane Fan lit up. "We did! Remember? I was a friend of your brother's."

It hit her. She remembered the times when her brother invited a friend over to play video games with them. She grew a temporary crush on him because he was able to beat her most of the time, but that crush faded overnight. She was very young anyways. "..." was all she could say at the moment, but she was able to speak when her flash-backs faded. "...Matthew Parkins?!"

"SHHHHH!" he shushed. "I don't want any obsessed fans to know my real name." Shania understood and nodded. "I've only seen you three times in my life, not counting today!" she exclaimed. "Heh, well, I guess after I started reading Twilight, your brother decided that it was a good idea to keep me away from you." Brit shrugged. "But you seem just fine." Shania stated. "It wasn't because of me...he just didn't want you to learn about Twilight at a young age. I completely understood what he ment, Twilight is not a book for children." he laughed.

"GOT 'EM!" yelled Hammer as she came back with all the Twitards on leashes. How this was accomplished, the world may never know. "Well, I gotta get this shirt to the lair." Shania said as she took the dreaded piece of crap from Brit's hands. "And I must hurry." she added. "Well..." he sighed, "It was good seeing you again!" Matthew waved as his old aquaintance ran off toward the abandoned bank.


	5. Chapter 5: ChitChat

**Chapter 5: Chit-Chat**

Allen Salder, Melody Salder, Keith Gorlenah, Shania McCooper, and Kevin Guy were safe and secure at the secret lair. Shania was busy tending to Allen's wounds, which gave them time talk to eachother in private. "It's a wonder how you got away from those fangirls alive. A few more seconds with 'em, and you could have been dead by now!" she exclaimed. "Well..." Allen sighed, ""I was actually rescued." Shania looked up, for she was in crouching position while manding a huge gash on her patient's arm.

"Rescued? By who?" she asked. "I don't know...there were five of 'em, I think. I could barely see them with all those Twitards blocking my view." the brown-haired teen said with nother sigh. Shania could have told him about the Sane Fans, but she felt it was best not to. 'What would Brit's reaction be if I told Al that there are sane fans out there?' she pondered. "Did you ever get a close look at them?" she questioned her friend. "No. They didn't even come three feet in front of me." he answered, shaking his head.

There was a short quietness between the two. "Someday..." Al said to break the silence. "Someday I will find out who they are. By purpose or by accident, I will find out." he clenched his teeth together because of the horrid stinging. "I don't see why you're so determined." Shania commented. "I don't see why either. I guess I'm just curious." the 17 year old boy chuckled. "Curiosity killed the cat." the red-headed female teased. The two looked at eachother and laughed.

Meanwhile, Keith and Kevin were standing over the Twihard pit, listening to the cries of the obsessed fans. "So...what happened to your family?" Kavin asked randomly. Keith sighed. "I'm not exactly sure. I was raised by my grandparents." The boys then sat by a near-by bush. "One day, the Twitards attacked, and I woke up with Pap and Gram-Gram missing." he shrugged. "What happened to your family?" Kevin looked down, memorizing what had happened.

"It started with my little sister, Kasie. We used to get along so well, heck, we made fun of Twilight very often. But one day, I don't know how, I don't know why, she turned on me. I made a Twilight joke, and she slapped me. Apparently, she watched the movie behind my back...and liked it." At that line, they both shuddered. "I asked her why she did it, and she told me 'Stop making fun of Eddykins!' and slapped me again. I didn't understand...I was confused.

"She then told me that I was fat and that I would never find love, which actually kinda hurt." "Sensitive 'bout your weight?" Keith interupted. "Nah. I am about being single, though. Anyways, Kasie went from Twi-hater to Twihard just like that. I once made the mistake of telling a Twilight joke to teh rest of my family. They laughed, I got punched in the nose. My parents got onto her, but then she went mad...I don't even wanna say what she did.

"I saved my parents, but she went after me. We fought for a few minutes, then I unintentionally threw her out the window, and she ran away. I haven't seen her since. The day after Meyer took office, I woke up to find my parents gone and blood on some of the furniture. I don't know why they didn't take me....I still wonder about that." Kevin laid his forehead in his palms. To show some sympathy, Keith put his arm around his buddy.

"It's OK, bud. At least your story was better than mine." Keith sucked at sympathy. That's when Melody walked by, playing with a stick. "Hey, Mels!" the Pattinson look-a-like yelled. "Yes, Keith?"

"What happened to your parents?"

"Mommy and Daddy ran away." she answered. "Al thinks they did it on purpose because he thinks they hate us, but I think that they will come back, because they can't hate us, because they're our Mommy and Daddy."

Melody walked over to Kevin. "Your Mommy and Daddy will come back too." she said with a hopeful smile. Kevin looked at her and smiled back. Her little girl charm always made Kevin smile. Unlike with a certain author of a certain Anti-Twilight fanfiction, he was able to get along with little kids. Melody looked down into the pit of Twitards, careful not to fall. "Why are they yelling for Edward Cullen?" she asked. "Because they're crazy, Mels. Because they're crazy." Keith laughed.

The screaming of the fantards were starting to get boring, so the three decided to go back into the lair. When they entered, Shania was almost done patching up Allen's wounds. "So, Al, when are we gonna get me on live TV?" Keith asked, anxious to get on television. "Tomorrow." Allen answered. "We've had a long day and we need some rest. And Melody?"

"Yes?"

"Good work today, I guess you've earned the decision of what we're having for dinner tonight."

"YAAAAAAAAY!" the 7 year old girl ran into the storage room and came back with her favorite snack of all time. The teens laughed as they found out that they were going to have Animal Crackers for supper.


End file.
